Awake My Soul
by littledarkangelhippie
Summary: ...with love came pain, and with pain came sadness, and with sadness came tears, and with tears came apologies, and with apologies came this, this right here... "I...I just..." she began in a broken whimper, but the look in his eyes stopped her. shikatema.


**Disclaimer: ****I do not own **_**Naruto **_**or any of the characters.**

_How fickle my heart and how woozy my eyes,_

_I struggle to find any truth in your lies._

The silence was sweet, but the words were bitter. It was said the key to a good relationship was good communication, but anything uttered between them caused another slash at their memories, tainting them further with the blood of their love, dying before them. So they chose to say nothing at all, stretching the string thin, fragile enough that a breath could snap it, breaking them. They didn't want to let each other go. They were all they had left, yet her tears stained his shirt, and his throat was thick with his pain.

"I'm sorry," she gasped, her face hidden in his chest, where his heart kept breaking. There would be nothing left to break soon, nothing left to keep him alive. All that held him together was right here in his arms. She was lying, he could _feel _it. Why would she be sorry about making him a love-sick fool? But he said nothing, because that one statement, spoken out of spite and sadness, tore at him. He sighed, silently pleading with her to not speak. It would end that night if she said anything else.

_And now my heart stumbles on things I don't know,_

_My weakness I feel I must finally show._

He never was the best at showing his emotions. He found it hard even now, while it killed him to see her like this, her body trembling and eyes squeezed shut. He wanted to comfort her, show her he was there for her, always would be, but all he could offer was his arms and pure silence, drenched with the agony that he'd become familiar with. She used to be his escape, and this used to be pure lust, but their emotions got in the way. And this world they lived in, this hell they'd been born in was no place for such things. And they were alone, but at least they were together.

He didn't know what was going to happen, and that scared him. He always knew, he was always four full steps ahead of anything, but not this time. And the longer they spent here, the longer he heard her whimpers and sobs, the more he felt his resolve cracking. "I'm sorry," he whispered back, closing his eyes as hot liquid streamed down his face. And he meant it. He never intended for this to happen to her, never wanted her to go through this. He felt her tighten her arms around him and knew she felt it, too. The fear of the unknown as he leaned his head back against cold rock, staring out into the blackness that surrounded them, a broken girl in his arms.

_Lend me your hand and we'll conquer them all,_

_But lend me your heart and I'll just let you fall._

Who would've known someone so strong, someone so wild and free as this crazy woman could have fallen so hard to where she was now? She, never in a billion years, would've thought that she'd be here now. She was renowned far and wide for her skills, her abilities, that trademark grin he seemed to love so much. Would they laugh at her, seeing her hysterically cry in her former-enemy-turned-ally's arms? _He _wasn't laughing. He held her, shushed her whenever she worked up the courage to speak, and though he didn't wipe away her tears or kiss away her pain like he would've before, he still rubbed her back gently and let her ruin his shirt. He'd learned his lesson before, which pleased her. Before, when they came to the realization of their recklessness and idiocies, she never let him comfort her, instead let herself be a masochistic freak—although, now that she thought about it, she never felt any such pleasure, only remembered the excruciating pain that slashed through her—but this time, this time she threw herself at him, and he welcomed her.

Love was a funny thing…or whatever this was. You're mindless and stupid and so, so happy. You feel so strong, invincible, and that's how she felt for a while when she was around him. People marveled at how strong she'd gotten, how easily she took down her enemies, and how easily she smiled. But with love came pain, and with pain came sadness, and with sadness came tears, and with tears came apologies, and with apologies came…_this, _this right here: Their agony, their confusion; her sorrow, his pain. "I…I just…" she began in a broken whimper, but the look in his eyes stopped her. _No_, they said, _please, don't_. And she understood, because they were two peas in a pod, one in the same, painfully similar in their vast differences…

_Lend me your eyes I can change what you see. _

_But your soul you must keep, totally free._

He wasn't the kind of person to dwell on the past. But the past was all this was. Memories shoved at him, his brain telling him, _see what you've done, _and his heart clenching at the thoughts of her smiles and laughter. He had a strange mind. He always processed things before taking action. She did no such thing. She did everything _instinctually_; let it all come to her naturally. And it confused him at first. _"How can you be so reckless?" _he'd demanded once of her, some time ago. She showed him how to loosen up, all the while complained about his seriousness, telling him to calm down. He didn't at first, but she wasn't the type to take _no _for an answer. And here he was, going by instinct, and letting his mind relax, even if he was stressing with memories, none of his thoughts tried to puzzle and piece together anything. He searched for no strategy, planned nothing, just sat there and did not wonder how this happened. He loved her. It was so painfully obvious to him now, but it was too _late _now. He could feel that in the way his heart throbbed, her sobs resounded, and their hands clasped tight beside them while the free arms hugged each other.

The one thing he admired about her was her spirit. She was so…so untamed. A wild animal yet to be controlled, a butterfly yet to be captured, a cloud in the sky he watched with a smile on a rooftop that no longer existed… She was his home, his refuge, but, then again, she wasn't. She was no one's home. She was a free bird that did as she pleased and took to the sky with the spontaneity of a laughing child… Yeah, he supposed that was the reason he'd fallen in love. He could never truly have her, and the fear of losing her was the reason he cherished the moments he had with her, readying himself to lose her whenever the time came. But nothing had prepared him for _this, _nothing could've ever gotten him ready to see her the way she was, feel the way he did, and see the end so near.

_In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die,_

_Where you invest your love, you invest your life. _

She was a blunt, straightforward woman that drove him _insane. _If something was one way, she'd challenge the concept and change it. And that's how things were, her way. Always her way. He hated it. At first, she'd come off as a bitch to him. What seemed perfectly right to him, she questioned. What seemed like a foolproof, unbreakable idea, she defied. It frustrated him beyond all reason. But he supposed that's where the attraction started. The thought of having someone to argue with, with someone who thought like he did, and actually coming to question _himself _was enough to make him stop and consider her. And she was _beautiful_. He was always surprised by it. How had someone so tough, so dominant, so demanding, so _frustratingly confusing, _become so stunning? Perhaps he never noticed it before because of how much he thought, how caught up in his own intelligence he was that he never paused to really look at her. Even now as she cried her heart out, her nose red and her eyes watery and a little bit of snot coming out of her little nose, with her hair wild and coming out of her trademark style, hiccupping and breathing loud, he was still stricken by her beauty.

And, now that he thought about it, he really could imagine a future with her. A slow, steady build to something amazing. Arguing day by day, but always coming to an agreement. His never ending fascination with her mind, body, and soul, and her never ending list of things to change and improve. He could imagine falling in love with her all over again, crying for her, dying for her, living a life with her. Marriage, even marriage. His heart swelled with hope at that, and he winced, because he could still feel the scars, some fresh and some old, but they'd heal over. Maybe he'd gain more, maybe he wouldn't. But he half-hoped he would, because somewhere, he didn't know where, he knew this wouldn't work out without a few more tears to shed. And to have children with her…to have a family with this woman… But, he wanted to go one step at a time.

_Awake my soul, awake my soul, awake my soul…_

_You were made to meet your maker…_

_Awake my soul, awake my soul…_

His hand stopped on her back, and her sobs paused in her confusion. She enjoyed this comfort; small as it was, and so looked up to look him in the eye. "Shika…" she trailed off as his hand came up to brush away her tears with his thumb, cradling her face delicately. She'd told him before she didn't like the sappy crap. It pissed her off and made her feel less than she was. But this was different, she knew, she could feel it. This wasn't him comforting her, telling her it would be alright. This was him saying: _This is nothing. _His eyes promised her something terrifying, something neither of them knew the end to. They promised her confusion and pain and sorrow and so many tears, but they also promised her Shikamaru. "I love you," she said again, her voice stronger despite her sore throat. And those words rang in their ears, causing a heartbreaking smile to cross his face.

It was not to the red nose, or the watery eyes, or the messy hair, or the snot in her nose—which he wiped with his sleeve, causing her to blush and scowl at him—or even the hiccups that she tried to stifle with her hand pointlessly that made him respond, but that crazy, wild, trademark grin that brightened her beautiful face. "I love you, too."

**A.N: **** Song: Awake my soul; Artist: Mumford and Sons. So, I'll admit I was surprised by this. I was listening to this song and suddenly became inspired and wrote this. At first, it wasn't even about them, and I'm not sure how it **_**did **_**become about them, but that's where the story led to and here we go. I put this under M because I think I might continue something like this. I love this pairing and think I'll be doing little one shots about them. This particular one, however, is its own. So, there you have it. **

**Review please! It feeds my inspiration! **


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